19-year-old college student gets 26-year-old grad student kicked out of their support group because it was meant for students 25 and under: 'She was 25 back when the semester began, so she was allowed to join.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 19, 2025 8:00 AM EST

What difference does it make if she's 25 or 26? Are 26-year-olds that much more mature than 25-year-olds?

Society at large is getting really weird about age. When I was 25, a couple of 21-year-olds told me that I looked "good for my age." You would think that people who would've been in high school at the same time as you wouldn't think you were old, even if you were a senior when they were a freshman, but that's not the case. Young people today see someone even a year or two older than them as ancient, even though they're in the same stage of life. 

It's easy to see this kind of behavior as harmless, something all young people do, but sometimes it's not so innocuous. Sometimes people use ageism towards other young people to try to accuse them of being weirdos. After all, what do a 22-year-old and a 28-year-old have in common anyway? It's not as if they are in the same stage of life and often find themselves at the same social functions. Maybe it'd be weird for a 28-year-old married person living in the suburbs to befriend a 22-year-old single person living in the city, but isn't that relationship just called "having a sister"?

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  • Young woman sharing her problems with a therapist and attenders of group therapy at community center
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The 19-year-old college student in this story thinks she's way further away from being a 26-year-old than she actually is. She got a 26-year-old grad student kicked out of their support group on the technicality that it's supposed to be for people 25 and under. 

  • Am I the bad guy for getting a 26-year-old woman kick out of a 25-and-under support group?

    My college has these support groups where students can, well, get help and support each other in the presence of a counselor. The one I attend is supposed to be for people 25 who moved for college and is going through adjustments related to moving. Most of the
    via u/throwayy6798
  • participants are (like myself) freshman. There is one girl who is a graduate student and she also moved to this town for college. She was 25 back when the semester began so she was allowed to join.
    via u/throwayy6798
  • Mature mental health professional communicating with group of people during counseling at community center
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She mostly talks about like adjusting to life here in the new town, finding a part time job, struggling with her imposter syndrome and about missing her boyfriend who is going to move to join her this year etc. But the thing is....since she's older, it makes me
    via u/throwayy6798
  • (and some of the others although we don't say it out loud) uncomfortable that she's there. Like it just seems like she has different issues with adjusting. I honestly don't know why she bothers coming since it must be clear that none of us can relate
    via u/throwayy6798
  • and most of us kind of find her issues are in a different stage of life. So anyway, I discovered that her birthday was in December which means she turned 26 already so I went to the counselor and told her
    via u/throwayy6798
  • this. Counselor said she was aware of it and that she had spoken to the 26yo and she asked to be allowed to join in until the end of this semester (which ends in late March). I wasn't entirely happy with that since they are breaking the rules so I let the admin section
    via u/throwayy6798
  • in charge of the support groups know this and well, they emailed her and she doesn't come anymore. The counselor must've also got reprimanded or something cause the last session she made a "statement" regarding how she was sorry for allowing
    via u/throwayy6798
  • someone to violate our safe space. She didn't say anything to me directly but during her statement she said she was only trying to help someone and that's why she did it. I couldn't help feel a little bad since well, 26yo is also a new student and all that but at the
    via u/throwayy6798
  • same time *she* was breaking the rules. A couple of other students have mentioned that they missed her and even arranged to hang out with her. I though that was weird since she is older. Like why is this
    via u/throwayy6798
  • 26yo hanging out with 19yo's? She does hang out with people her own age but I still find it strange. AITA? Edit: honestly I think if she was a male student the responses would be way different
    via u/throwayy6798
  • Young man attending group therapy at mental health center
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • aghzombies YTA. Go out and touch some grass, friend.
    via u/aghzombies
  • missteacher2 YTA. You have NO compassion for someone who is struggling. She turned 26 2 months ago. What difference does 2 months make? You clearly need to work on yourself and how to treat others. And when does it matter that you HAVE to have friends exactly your age?! People have friends of all ages. Doesn't mean it's odd. Seriously, your thinking is messed up. Edit: I've edited to respond to your edit. I would say exactly the same if it was a male person or a person of the opposite sex. My be
    via u/missteacher2
  • bradipoeterno YTA. That was a very petty thing to do. People don't suddenly change unrecognisably on their 26th birthday and that group could have been important to her. It seems that you only did it out of personally disliking her, and I doubt she is an AH if other people from the group are missing her.
    via u/bradipoeterno
  • borkybprkyvahs YTA. I'm confused. Her issues seem totally compatible with 19 year olds. > adjusting to life here in the new town, finding a part time job, struggling with her imposter syndrome and about missing her boyfriend... She was going to phase out of the support group anyway. I don't see why you couldn't have done her the courtesy of just waiting another month. Seems like other students weren't uncomfortable with her being a few months older than the age limit.
    via u/borkybprkyvahs
  • ΥΤΑ. Silkyfrills You couldn't even let her finish out the semester. She clearly was there because she needed the support and it's very shit of you to take that away from her for the sake of a few months.
    via u/Silkyfrills
  • martinou812 YTA Why did you even have to ask? What is the huge difference between 25 and 26 and what is the specific harm to you? This woman was looking for a so- called safe space and you kicked her out like a dog. Nice. So much for safe space, not with you around.
    via u/martinou812
  • YTA. ScienceNotKids >it makes me (and some of the others although we don't say it out loud) uncomfortable that she's there. >most of us kind of find her issues are in a different stage of life. >A couple of other students have mentioned that they missed her and even arranged to hang out with her. This definitely comes off as you being the only person bothered she is there, and so you lied and spoke for the group. After all, if you never speak it out loud how do you have any idea what other peopl
    via u/ScienceNotKid
  • Kris82868 I don't get it. She was 25 when she joined. Are you supposed to leave the group on your 26th birthday even if the semester isn't over? What exactly are the rules?
    via u/Kris82868
  • SirEbralPaulsay This might be the shittiest, pettiest thing I've ever seen on here. Yeah a lot of other stuff is way more extreme but those are usually situations where people at least have an emotional investment in whatever they're being an asshole about. I'm not excusing asshole behaviour but at least I can see a thought process behind them being an asshole. You literally got someone kicked out of a therapy group for no reason. Their presence their made zero difference to you and if she'd bee
    via u/SirEbralPaulsay
  • Ironinvelvet YTA. This is horrible. Someone joined a support group for new students and was obviously benefitting from the group since she kept attending. It is weird of you to assume you have nothing in common with someone a few years older- or to assume that they couldn't offer anything to the group.
    via u/Ironinvelvet

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semester teenagers grad school group therapy mental health counseling young people 20s college student entitled people
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